Throughout my Pasum (Pusat Asasi Sains Univeristi Malaya) life, I was aiming to further in Law at UM, obviously. I was studying biological science (including chemistry and physics) back then. You must be wondering on why was I freaking in science if I wanted to further my studies in law, right? It was all because PASUM was the best offer after SPM and I thought I would be able to fall in love more with biology, but I thought wrong. However, I still managed to survived (this include skipping lectures and going back to my room just to sleep) and scored despite knowing the things I was learning will not be useful anymore - perhaps. Let me tell you, PASUM was not easy. I had to go through tears  for that stressful hectic year. Finally, hard work paid off.

***
It was the day I had been waiting for - UPU results day. I wasn't happy but I lied to myself, I got accepted to Bachelor of Management (Technology), UTM which was my 3rd choice - because I was tired with sciences and complex mathematics so I simply chose that. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried. Knowing almost everyone I knew at PASUM got accepted into various courses in UM, I really can't handle the truth. Furthermore, I was overly attached to UM that time just because I was one of the facilitators for the PASUM's new intake. After around a week, I received a call from UTM saying I was offered the UTM Endowment Scholarship. I try to convince myself that this would be the best choice since I will be able to continue back my horseback riding practices - I don't actually. =D

***
On 30th August 2014, there I was in the car drove by my dad heading to Johor. Trust me, orientation week was a disaster week. My heart and soul was totally not in Johor at all. What do you expect when in 3 different whatsapp groups, majority were posting pictures and talking about UM's orientation week which was waaaaaayyy better than UTM's. This didn't include the pictures on instagram and the tweets on twitter's timeline yet. Again, I cried to sleep several times that week itself. "What am I doing here?" and thousands more questions flew across my mind. Then I started pointing fingers and started blaming everyone. Things just get worser when people keep asking me "PASUM tu apa?" - like seriously?

***
On 15th of September, I was anxiously waiting for the result of my appeal. And......

Alhamdulillah! But, I am uncertain. I consulted several friends and those in UM obviously encouraged me to accept the offer. Then I talked to Amirah (she's a MARA girl so she wasn't bias) bout this. Still puzzled tho. I knew Allah S.W.T could help me in this. I was really under pressure since I need to make the decision of a lifetime. How do you expect me to make such an important decision in such a short period when I can't even decide on simple things such as on what to eat everyday? The next day, umi took the flight from Penang to KL, then both my parents came to Johor. I am still undecided. That night, I stayed with my parents at the hotel. The next day was the day, to leave or to stay.I kept asking myself. "Do I really want to further in Law?'' or it was just the idea of studying in UM? After some thoughts, I had strong feelings that Law was not for me. At that time, I completely rely on Allah S.W.T decision.

On the 17th of September, I told my parents that UTM is my choice. It was the decision that I made by myself. Gladly, my parents were there to support me. I did not reject UM's offer because it was still kind of hard for me to do that so I left it with no answer.

Alhamdulillah, starting from that day onwards I was quite motivated to fully engage with what I am doing and studying now. Maybe Allah S.W.T gave me the best but it was indeed so super freaking hard for me to accept and see it, so HE let me choose. Afterall, HIS decision will always be the best.  A week after, I got an email invitation for an interview(UEM Scholarships). Alhamdulillah, the interview went well - I guess, and I am now officially an UEM Scholar.

***

People will be asking where was I studying before. When I answered 'PASUM', they usually gave me that kind of "SHE MUST DID BADLY IN PASUM, SO SHE ENDED STUDYING  MANAGEMENT IN UTM" look.

Let me tell you something.

Firstly, my PASUM journey was not screwed.

Secondly, the course I am studying now is totally my choice and I have faith in Allah S.W.T decision for me.

Thirdly, dear people, don't look down on people who are studying courses other than yours.